women in business… the struggle between work, family and life.
Get up early… go to gym… come home to get kids ready for school… race to work… dedicate a solid 8 hours work to your clients with no lunch breaks… race home to your loving partner preparing the family dinner… clean up the aftermath and bath the kids… put the kids to bed with some divinely needed cuddles… now to the office where the next work starts…
Perhaps you sit beside your loving partner on the lounge with your lap top on your knee. Your intentions are pure with the desire of spending ‘time’ with them, BUT damn that niggling feeling of being on the border of overwhelm as you are quietly conscious of the seemingly never ending to-do-lists accumulating.
YOU know you love your family first and foremost to everything and YOU know you are sacrificing your sanity to ‘provide’ for them, to just get to that next stage where if you just get there, everything will be different… everything will FINALLY pay off! YOU know you are being selfless and hardworking for them to have the fruits of your hard work, but what they see and feel is very different.
That loving partner whom you always dreamt of having. Those children who fill your heart with every ounce of love. What do THEY know? How do THEY feel? … They feel like the forgotten ones! The ones who are sacrificing for your success… the ones who come second to all your time… the ones who wish you would sing them a song or perhaps read them a story… the ones who support you in every way and all they want in return is a snuggle on the lounge… the ones who long to have your undivided attention and presence! The ones who become resentful and un-loved!
YOU are not alone and THEY are not-forgotten. Remember your ‘why’. Why do you stay up late to get things done, why do you work so hard? Is it for a sense of personal satisfaction at the price of the ones you love? Of course it is not. It is for your heart felt reasons. Maybe it’s the foundation for more time with your family, maybe it’s a nicer house for them all, and maybe it’s to give them better experiences? We all have our why so take the time to remember it. Focus on it and use it to drive you to getting there sooner rather than later as I can tell you that if you do not make the choices and changes toward it being your reality now, it will never happen. You HAVE TO start planning more personal time. You have to start doing things that feed your soul. Don’t forget to bring joy to your own life with your own personal time-out. Bring joy to your life and to those whom you love. It is the payoff for all that hard work and sacrifice that you make. IT IS A MUST! Nothing will ever change if you don’t plan for it.
I have had this journey, I have suffered the consequences, and I have been given a second chance. I am passionate about making a difference, not only in my loved ones life, and my clients, but in all of fellow colleagues who battle the same battle as I do. My suggestion would be to spend that little extra time to read a bedtime story. Take the time to laugh and take the time to play. Put away your lap-top and really BE with your loved one on the lounge. Trust me…. that short lived satisfaction of ticking off that one extra thing on your to-do-list is not worth the resentfulness and un-loved feeling that your loved ones harbor. Know you are doing your best but know they are doing their best too.
I am not a psychologist; I am simply a Mum, a partner and a woman in business who gives her heart and soul to bettering the life for her family. It breaks my heart to think that my pure intentions and the perception from my family are not the same. I am making a difference now and hope you will do the same. My suggestions to you would be… go and sit on the lounge and talk about this as a family. Let them understand why you do what you do. At the same time, see through the eyes of your loved ones and together make a plan to do it together. One thing I did was to write my vision on paper. I wrote it with passion and I wrote it with truth. Together we are driven to the same vision and on the same journey and it is a family vision and for the family, we all play our role and one is not more crucial than another, we are in this together. Take time to pamper yourself with a day at the spa, schedule in regular date nights, take time to read a story to the pure and innocent in this, stop working ALL the time and start cashing in the pay-off! Feed your soul
Love Rene Thorpe xxx